This is gonna hurt

I've got me a pair of Fred Flintstone toes.

Now, talking about warts might not be the most exciting topic, but, if you want to get to know me, ya gotta know me warts and all. Because, I'm an oversharer. It's what I do.

And really, this isn't about warts, it's about my aversion to pain, and awe of miracles. I am an über wuss. I cannot lie. I hate the anticipation of pain, and actual pain. Probably the anticipation more. Which is why, when I was preparing to give birth to the aforementioned large baby, I told them to bring it on. Gimme all of it and don't stop! So, I show up to the hospital, ready to go, and ask if I can go ahead and get the epidural now. Oh, gee, sorry, you're only 1 cm, she tells me. And then, she left me in the room, alone with only my fear and my husband. I then proceeded to miraculously go from 1 cm to we're ready to push! in one hours time. Still alone, save for the husband who was now certain I'd bygone lost my freakin' mind, and the giant bear who'd crept into my body and made me feel like I was going to implode at any moment. Long story short, natural childbirth, for me, the wimpiest gal on earth. Not pleasant. I now know, I was traumatized from that, and probably should have had some counseling. Seriously. I could not talk about my birth experience for weeks, and honestly believed I could not go through that again, so sadly, Jack would be my last, until he was about 4 months old and the "birthing event" had grown a bit hazier in my memory.

So, that said, EVEN THOUGH I went through that, I still get really scared for anything involving pain. So, I've had these warts on my toes that have been invincible to the other 10 appointments I've attended in the last 6 months and all of the injustices that have been done to them in those appointments, so the day came to just slice and dice. Ouch. This is gonna hurt. I even got a prescription from the doctor for Tylenol with codeine, with instructions to call anytime if I needed something stronger. So, I'm not the only one that thought it was gonna hurt.

But somehow, miraculously, it does not. At all. I keep waiting for the numbness to wear off, and the beastly pain to set in, but it hasn't . And, that must be a miracle. Because when you look at it, as I am forced to do regularly as I change the dressings, it sure looks like it should hurt. Bad. Even Rob thinks so. So, either my toes have just given up on the brutal treatment they've received for 6 months and have rolled over to play dead, or it's just God giving me a break for some wonderful, undeserved reason.

I'm voting for God.

Editor's note: Rob wanted me to show this steak on a stick unwrapped. Thought it would increase readership or interest. All of my loyal (3 or 4) readers can thank me that I outvoted him. I still have some dignity left.