Revelations in a tutu

My small blonde child, Luke, is all boy.

It became clear to me that he fully realized he was a boy, and what being a boy entails, at about 20 months old.

I was not the brainchild behind putting Luke in a tutu. I will have to blame you, Cindy, for that. She casually mentioned that Luke would make such a pretty girl. We happened to be sitting by her daughters dress up clothes. Well, one thing led to another, and we decided just to see what he'd look like. In fact, I will actually blame the husbands, who were out golfing that day, which led to our free time, which led to this. This mama will not take the fall.

First came the wonder:

Realization, shock and horror all hit simultaneously:

And finally, there was the rage and panic:

Now, you have to admit. He would have made a beautiful girl. Just look at those curls!

Yet somehow, this little 20 month old boy just knew that this wasn't right.  Boys don't wear pink tutus.

So, I dunno, maybe this is where it all started. The "I hate anything girl" that so permeates his being. Oddly, his two best playmates are girls, but apparently, this is different. He just won't associate with any girl stuff.

Example #1:

Luke drops his one and only sucker in the doctor's office as soon as he unwraps it. Obviously it must be thrown away. The doctor herself, along with the nurses, scramble to find him another one to pacify the wailing. But, alas. The sucker that is brought has a pink wrapper on it. Game over.

Example #2:

Luke is playing with a deck of cards. He hands me all of the queens. He says, "Here Mom, I don't want the girl cards."

Example #3:
I say excitedly, "Guess what Luke, you are invited to S's party!"

Luke: "Yea!!"

Luke: Gasp, "Oh, no no no! I can't go because she's going to have a girl cake!"

These are the things that make Luke unique. I know this unique personality will serve him well and I hang on to that in moments of panic that he might not "fit in". Because if "fitting in" means he will become the 15 year old I observed this weekend, with 2 karat fake diamond studs in his ears, walking around with a 2 liter of Mountain Dew, asking questions to other kids like "Are you rich? Because I heard you are rich", or "Why do you always wear a red shirt?", all for the benefit of the other boys he was ringleading, I don't want any of it.

Give me my boy who runs outside of that pack anyday. Just don't ask him to wear pink.

Editors note: In case you were wondering, I am using a hillbilly scanner to show older photographs not saved to my computer. This scanner works by taking a photograph, of a photograph, to post to the blog. Don't be jealous, someday you can own a hillbilly scanner too.

Exploring Iowa, part deaux

This past weekend, we hit the trails again to explore. We drove to Des Moines, the largest metro area in our state, but still considerably smaller than Indianapolis, where we were before—only about a third of the size.

Anyway, the state fair was going on so we wanted to check it out. We have been to the Wisconsin state fair many times, which was very fun. A big eat fest/drink beer fest/music fest, plus some ag thrown in. Then, we hit the Indiana state fair. Total opposite fair. Very agricultural, little party atmosphere. I asked where the beer garden was and you'd think I'd asked where the topless dancers were stationed. "Uh mmm, ah, maam, there's no beer here at the state fair."  The Iowa one came in the middle--lots of ag stuff, but also some beer gardens thrown in and some evening bands. A nice mix.

It was SUPER hot, one of those days where you walk around sweating, and don't realize in all of it that your thighs have rubbed together in heavy sweat all day and are completely chafed by the end of the day. Not that this type of thing happened to me, I've just heard of others.....MY thighs surely don't touch each other. Anyhoo, brings on lots of grumpy people too who just want you out of their way because they are hot and sweaty and their kids are also complaining of being hot and sweaty and tired of walking, etc.

We dropped $100 within the first 39 seconds or so of arriving. How does this happen? Who knows. Maybe when rides take 3-5 tickets each and the kids want to ride everything. Oh well, this only happens once a year, right? And we had fun.

We never did figure out if there was a real person in there or if he was all remote controlled. Very cool.

Mmm ice cream from the dairy barn. Yum Yum.

The famous butter cow. WOW. It's all made of butter.

As is all of this.

Bad picture, but they loved this ride. Just looking at it is enough to make Daddy want to throw up.

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Sunday, we continued our explore Iowa adventures and traveled to Guttenberg, a really quaint little town along the Mississippi river. Our friends and neighbors invited us to go on their boat in that area, where they were familiar with the river. It was a great time. So relaxing.

Jack needed to challenge himself to do this, which is always good.

First day

Tuesday was the first day of school. I must say I've been ready for this. I think the boys need new things to occupy themselves. I think I'll be a better, more organized, healthier and happier mom. I hope that by getting all of my "stuff" done earlier in the day, I can be more present for them when they are home.

Really, the hardest part of the first day wasn't the being apart, though it felt different. The hardest part is letting them back into a world where you are not in control. You don't know who they talk to or what is said to them. You can't control who they hang out with or bad words or behavior they witness. You aren't there to say, "Say thank you! Say please! Excuse us!" when they don't use their manners. You can only hope and trust that the little people you are forming will be educated enough and strong enough to weather those challenges in the best way possible on their own. And hope that whatever they might hear/see/experience that bothers or challenges them will be shared with you so you can help them find their way.

I'm a 2nd grader!

Luke's in a preschool that's modeled much like kindergarten but less sit down/focus time

Daily Five

I think coming up with a blog title is hard!
So, if there's nothing specific to define the post, we'll just call it Daily Five--five minutes of what's new in our lives.

Here's my last produce run in the garden--not too bad!

We've been abundantly blessed with cucumbers. I get 3-4 every time I check the garden. The green beans have been good too. The potatoes are a little disappointing; what you see above is what I got after digging up half of my row. The carrots aren't too bad, though a little bitter. They are good when cooked.

We sliced up the potatoes and carrots and put them in foil with butter on the grill for dinner. Yum! Especially when you know exactly where they came from!

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Here's some before and afters with the new carpet. We love it! The boys have been true to their word and have been using the basement much more since it's been installed.

Don't we match with our #4 homestyled haircuts? Our barber is the BEST!

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Here's just a few shots of our house/surroundings on a really beautiful day recently. This setting is truly all I've ever wanted so I have no reason to complain! It's so peaceful.

The rest of the fun week

I had high hopes of documenting our adventures day by day to savor each one individually, but here we are, it's Sunday, and you're gettin' the whole enchilada.

Wednesday our adventure was getting new carpet in the basement. I'm so excited. Pictures on that later.

Thursday's adventure involved an "aquatics center". Basically a pool on steroids. It was super hot so it seemed like a good place to go that day. However the boys were fighting on the way so we almost didn't go. I was on the phone, and had asked them three times to quiet down and stop fighting so I could hear (plexiglass divider anyone?). So, I pulled over, off the highway, and sat on the shoulder.
And didn't say anything.
I just sat there.
Until they both started crying.
And Jack asked me if I was asleep.
(Wouldn't that be a classic move? Just sit there till you fall asleep? Note to future self.)
And what I really probably SHOULD have done is turn around, like I threatened, to really teach a good lesson in doing what I ask.
But it still seemed effective. The thought that I might turn around and go home made them both not say a word the rest of the way.
I hate to have to do this.
It really takes away the fun.
But should you have to ask them to stop fighting, three times, when you are taking them to an aquatics center for the day for God's sake?

So anyway, we got there, and had a lot of fun.
But this place has so many rules, and they are strictly enforced.
First, no food allowed, so I am telling the kids to eat their snacks secretively so no one who works there notices. I'm sorry— I am a rule follower, so this really bugs me to encourage my kids to sneak around. But why should I be forced to have them snack on the junk that they sell like candy and ice cream when I am bringing in fruit, cheese and raisins?
Then, you have to have your legs just so on the raft in the lazy river or you get whistled at. Running? Forget about it.
And then, I'm taking one of the below pictures, of my own kids frolicing at the aquatics center, and they tell me if I want to take pictures, I have to register at the front to do so, so they know who is there taking pictures.
SERIOUSLY?
So once again, I broke the rules and took a few more pictures. Without registering to take pictures. Of my own kids.
Crazy. But despite the rules, we had lots of fun. And all 3 came home totally wiped out.

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Friday was Kids Casino Day Chuck E Cheese day.

I actually don't hate this place entirely, if you happen to hit it just right on a quiet afternoon when no one is there.
Unfortunately, this wasn't the case on Friday, and it was loud, and busy.

Jack cannot even focus on one full sentence I say when he is in this environment.

Really, the only thing to differentiate this place from a real casino is the types of drinks offered, the lack of cigarette smoke, and the fact that Chuck's has windows.

Loud, garish sticky carpet?
Check.

No clock on the walls anywhere?
Check.

Flashing lights and dinging sounds everywhere?
Check.

Glazed over eyes in front of machines, sweaty palms grasping for that last token/coin?
Check.

Leaving with empty pockets and feeling of despair?
Check. Well, you DO get the takeaway pictures of yourself in Chuck's car. So you do leave with SOMETHING.

But for that one hour it took to go through 30 tokens each, they sure enjoyed themselves.

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Saturday we went exploring. I LOVE exploring. We decided to drive around Cedar Rapids, a.k.a. Cedar Rabbits to Luke. We drive past it all of the time but never have ventured in. I'm sorry to say I was underwhelmed. There seemed to be no sign of life anywhere on a sunny Saturday afternoon, save for a few people in bars here or there. It didn't leave me inspired to visit anytime soon.

Next, we drove by Iowa City, which being a college town, seemed much more alive and vibrant.

Our evening destination after stopping by a park for a dinner picnic was a drive-in movie. This one was really my pick. I LOVE drive-in movies.

I love old people. I love drive-in movies. I love drive-in restaurants like A&W drive-in or Sonic. I love black and white movies, old classic cars, and Country Magazine.

I guess I just love things that remind of yesteryear and a simpler time.

There are only 3 drive-in movies still operating in Iowa, and tonight's visit makes two that we've frequented.  It was perfect. It was in the middle of nowhere, in the middle of a cornfield. The night couldn't have been nicer.

We were even treated to hangliders who went back and forth over the field and waved at us. We even saw a shooting star during the movie. It was great. We got home at almost 1 am afterwards but it was still worth it.

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We finished off our list tonight with a fire and smores. Two smores each per Jack's request.

My sister thinks this idea rocked, to fill a week with tons of fun things right before summer end. That way, with a kid's short term memory as it is, when asked how their summer was, they will say, It was the BOMB!

Never thought of that but I guess it is pretty ingenious.

Goodbye summer. You were too fleeting but oh so sweet.

Thoughts about, or in, a van

The other day, I was driving who knows where with the kids. We have this rockin' radio station that plays 80's all day every day. I LOVE IT. I have no desire to learn of any new music because I SO love the 80's. So that song, More Than Words, comes on.
Remember that one?
Two long haired guys sitting on stools with their guitars, just singin' this sad song?
So, naturally, I start belting it at the top of my lungs.
And the boys couldn't have put their headphones on fast enough to drown me out. No words were spoken, aside from GET ME MY HEADPHONES! and then they were good.
It made me laugh.

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You know those plexiglass screens in taxi cabs that separate the driver from the people in the back? There's just that square sliding window that's open to talk through, and you can even slide that closed if you want to.

I think that would be a great invention for mini vans.

I actually fantasize about this some days.

I mean, really, fantasize about how awesome it would be if I could just reach back and slide that plexiglass divider closed when the noise gets overbearing. I have tried to think about how it would work. Then I wonder if automakers were mothers of small kids, if it would've have already been invented already.
Or, maybe it just seems "mean".

Well, maybe I'm just sayin' what others sometimes think but won't admit. 

Just think of the possibilities—have to call your doctor's office? Want to have a private any sort of conversation with your husband? Don't want to listen to that movie again?
How perfect would it be?

I know you secretly want one too.

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Have you ever seen the Swagger Wagon video, emphasizing the coolness of driving a minivan?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ql-N3F1FhW4

You must watch it. I think I peed myself a little when Liz showed it to me.

Picking raspberries

I so enjoyed picking raspberries yesterday. They are so warm and juicy right off the vines. None of Luke's made his basket, and Jack only picked a handful before he petered out due to the heat and being tired.

Were we this wimpy to the heat when we were kids? I thought I remember being impervious to heat as a child. Faulty recollection, or are kids a little wimpier nowadays?

Luke and I thoroughly enjoyed it, and I told him I'd bring him back sometime just he and I to do it again.

On a sidenote, I spoke to the man who runs this farm about possibly doing some marketing for him. We'll see what comes of that...

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My garden continues to give me just enough to not give up on it yet. The cucumbers are prolific; I had 15 on my counter yesterday. What to do with them? I gave some away and tickled my domestic bones today in the kitchen. I made a cucumber salad, a loaf of banana bread, and 4 loaves of zucchini bread using my neighbors equally prolific zucchini.

I picked another bucket of green beans and made them for dinner with butter, soy sauce and toasted sesame seeds. All of us but Luke love them that way.

I cut up some of my carrots, but only had enough to fill half of a small ziplock to snack on. They are really small.

The potato plants look completely dead so I'll have to do some digging and see if anything's under there. I dug up one hill last week and got two potatoes.

The meager attempts the corn made at producing gave way to the critters so we'll have no corn.

I've only had one tomato and 3 cherry tomatoes.

The basil and parsley are really nice, I'll have to dry some.

How come every day after I work in the garden my hair ends up looking like Hermey the Dentist from Rudolph?

Yum Yum Me Likey

Here's a new summer drink for you to try. Jeremiah Weed is an iced tea flavored vodka. Yummy. Probably mix a little less Jeremiah Weed to lemonade than half and half, but adjust based on how your day has gone.

Cheers!

Crammin

School starts one week from now.

Holy crap!

But what about summer?? We never even made a summer to do list. It has just passed us by this year, and that makes me so sad.

I have to admit, I am ready for school to start. Although I love the lazy mornings, and not having to have anything planned for the day, I also believe my time with the boys was more quality during the school year than it has been this summer. The fighting has really beat me down. I wish I could say it wasn't as bad as I'd thought it might be, or as bad as those few snow days during the year foreshadowed, but unfortunately, it was at a fever pitch for a good part of the summer and it just makes me tired.

When the boys fight all the time, it beats me down because it makes me think that all of the compassion/kindness/treat others as you'd like to be treated is just not sinking in. These are the fundamental things that I hope to pass on and teach them. Being kind to others and being a compassionate person are the cornerstone of what I am trying to stand for to my kids, so when they are everything but to each other, I just lay in bed wondering what I'm doing wrong. When my girlfriends visited recently, we shared, as always, what our biggest crosses were that we were bearing, and this was mine.

I'm sure someday, they will love each other. When I was in 8th grade, I hated both my younger brother AND my older sister. Now I love them dearly. I try to explain that when Daddy and I are gone, they will still have each other, and that they are the only ones in each other's lives that will remember and understand what their childhood and upbringing were like. That's a powerful thing and nothing you can share with anyone else. And, I know someday, they will know this. But it's the gettin' to that point that is so hard for me.

Sooooooooooooooo----there are so many things I wanted to do this summer that did not get done. We were just gone so much. It was fun but it was just sooo short. And I wonder if each year as we age, it will feel like it goes faster and faster. And I know I will feel I didn't appreciate it all enough.

So in light of that, we have put together a "cram it all in because summer's almost over" list that we hope to accomplish this week. Here's what we put together this morning:

And today, we were able to cross off pool, and we had a really great day together.

And, I know it's not all about the "stuff" that you do, but the time you spend together, and it's mostly the little, no cost things that you do together that they will remember. So hopefully the talks we had on road trips, the many fires and marshmallows we roasted at home, movies we watched, and time talking in the garden about how things grow will be what they remember.

Visitors

Last week, we were lucky enough to enjoy a visit from two of my most favorite people in the world and their families, Claudine and Andrea. Years ago, we made a pact to try to go to each others' houses at least once a year every year. Through babies and moves this is not an easy feat, but we are still doing pretty darn good.

You can imagine the general din that comes with 9 kids running around, 6 of them boys.
That fact matters in this story. 6 boys 7 and under=LOUD CHAOS. But so worth it.
And we always get so little sleep.
We stay up way too late, and with 9 kids, someone is always up by 6 a.m.
Not enough sleep.
But so worth it.

A mean game of kickball

Just ignore my turtle neck and this is a good picture.

And she was the DD for the night

Somehow we always end up on the dance floor

and despite the fact that this was a blues band,

we were still out there, and managed to have a good time (reminder-this one was drinking water)

So Andrea decided instead of just sitting around to talk, we should weed while we talk--and we weeded the entire garden. Is this unbelievable or what? It has never looked like this before

and THEN she asked for a shovel to square it off and edge the whole damn thing. Unbelievable.

As Andrea put it in her email letting us know she'd made it back, (and I don't think she'll mind if I share)

"I definitely fueled my soul and heart this weekend and got a little weepy on the way home. I think I go into a mini depression when I leave you guys. I always feel like I leave a bit of myself behind. Thank you for being such important people in my lives. I love you both."

Well said Miller, well said. If I were as eloquent in my actual words spoken as in my thoughts, I would have said the same thing.

I'm quite sure I am one of the luckiest girls around. I have wonderful girlfriends who truly do fuel my heart and spirit, and I don't know what I'd do without any of them.

If I said I had a crush on my priest, they'd say, "Hmm, God must be sending you a message through him."
If I said I'd kissed my cousin once, they'd say, "Hmm, I'm sure he must be very attractive."
If I said I liked one of my kids better than the other, they'd say "It happens to all of us sometimes."

None of these things have been said. They are examples. The point is, none of these things would be socially acceptable for most people to hear. 99% of people you would say this to would laugh politely and uncomfortably and then make a mental note that you are a little strange and you overshare and they'd keep you at arms length.

Knowing you have people you could say these things to, and they wouldn't judge you or love you less, is an unbelievable thing.