Some nights I log on all fired up with some hot topic or opinion I'd like to discuss.

Other nights, the extent of my fiery topic is wanting to know what your favorite thing to do with a pound of ground beef is.

No. Seriously. I want to know, but I fear I will get no responses back. So please, surprise me! Even you reader unbeknownst to me! All the more fun, for as I make your beefy dinner I will say to myself, this yummy dinner is thanks to a mystery reader! It's all very exciting.

So, I will tell you tonight, this is my favorite recipe with a pound of ground beef. This recipe generally looks like a recipe I got out of Country magazine once, until it slipped in the crack between the stove and the counter and was lost forever. Why is that crack there? Is it only to devour recipes and hold crumbs and smudges of food that just can't make their way down to the final graveyard below? So, I reconstructed it from memory and it's basically now the only recipe I know by heart. Oh, biscuits and gravy too, but you will find that in my future post entitled, What's your favorite thing to do with a log of pork sausage?

Li'l Cheddar Meatloaves, which can be renamed if you feel too silly or Missisippian saying "Li'l"

1 egg beaten with fork
1/2 cup milk
1 lb ground beef
sprinkling of parsley
tsp of salt
1 c shredded cheddar
1/2 c oatmeal
small onion chopped finely

Mush it all together and form 8 "li'l" loaves in your greased 9x13 pan. Then, for the topping:

2/3 c ketchup
1 T mustard
1/2 c brown sugar

Mix and spoon over your "li'l" loaves. Then bake at 375 for an hour.

These are very yummy and my whole family likes them!

On another note, Josie got her first haircut this week:

Unlike her brothers, the whole affair went swimmingly and there were no tears. I do love her hair as it is, but it was always in her eyes and the back was a big rats nest which prompted strangers to say things like, "Oh, my daughter's hair always looks like that in the morning too!" to which I'd reply quizzically, "This is how her hair always looks!" All's well that ends well.

And finally, on the topic of strangers. Technically not entirely a stranger, but one of the other moms at indoor soccer, whom I rarely chat with, randomly turned around to me and said, "It looks like he isn't as good at goalie!" as Jack was trying out goalie for the first time during the game. I have to ask, what would prompt a mother to feel compelled to share that opinion with me? I would never dream of saying something like that to someone! Why do redheads need to be so damn fiery? Can you tell yet that fiery is the word of the day? Does the fire come from within and stream into their hair strands? Help me understand!

Enough for now. I need to go off and think of all the good retorts I SHOULD have said back instead of "Yeah, I don't know if this will really be his thing." Great defense Sherlock.

Finally someone who understands me

I have just finished a memoir entitled Candy and Me-A Girl's Tale of Life, Love and Sugar, by Hilary Liftin.









This book had me at candy. I devoured it in one sitting. Pun intended.

Like the author, I have had a love affair with candy from the day we met. I can't imagine a life without candy in it. It is an addiction as real as alcohol or other "drugs" yet it is not looked down upon. I imagine the cure to this addiction would be to give it up altogether as happens with other addicts trying to be clean, but I truly can't imagine ever doing that. It is a love hate relationship. I love it and I crave it but when I eat it, especially in quantities beyond what I should have eaten, the hate begins.

This was the first passage that really spoke to me personally, as I know exactly how she feels. She was discussing a birthday party she attended, and unsure of what sort of gift might be appropriate, she decided to gift an entire shoebox filled with all sorts of candy dumped in. She writes,

 "For everyone else this indulgence was a novelty that came and went, but I was acutely aware of where the box was in the room, how much candy remained, and how soon it would make its way back to me. I wouldn't stop eating until it was empty, and feared that someone would notice my single-mindedness. It was the first time I had an inkling that others were easily distracted from sweets by more central events, where for me, the distraction of sweets was the main event."

Finally. Someone who understands me.

And later, on willpower to do the right thing:

"Willpower is not black and white. I exercise willpower on every trip to the grocery store, but no checkout person watching my selections bump down the conveyor belt would believe it. What I hope for, one day, is to be free of the need for willpower. I didn't need willpower to avoid heroin. I had no natural desire for it. I didn't need willpower to avoid meat. I ate it when I wanted, in whatever quantity I desired. Willpower is a denial of desire. It can be partial ("I'm not having dessert today") or absolute ("I'm not having dessert ever") but it is always self-denial. I don't want to curb desire. I want either to indulge it or eradicate it."

This passage really speaks to me because every trip "out" is a test of willpower. If I go to a gas station or a grocery store, there are so many temptations that must be refused to get through the trip that it can feel overwhelming. The willpower required to not buy the wrong things and indulge those desires has to be very strong. If I am weak in any way, I will give in and buy a donut, or a candy bar, or a forbidden in the house no-no like Oreos. There are certain things that just can't come in this house, and those include Oreos, the only store bought cookie worth eating to me, Golden Grahams, and candy. Because if a bag of candy is bought, whatever package it comes in is the serving size. There is no saving for later. And judging on the amount of peanut butter I just ate for my dinner tonight and the stomach rumblings in response to that, I might just have to add peanut butter to that list. So as she states, when that conveyor belt pulls my selections toward the checker and it doesn't have any sweets lying on it, it is a big win for me, although the checker might not see the internal battles I fought to make those decisions.

Hilary seals the deal with me when she confesses that she loves the old-fashioned marshmallow egg. My friends, this rare gem is my favorite. You know, around Easter it used to pop up, though nowadays it's hard to find. A thick colorful candy coating on the outside, and inside, the dense marshmallow filling that is pure sugar grittiness? They used to come all loose in a bag but now they are usually individually wrapped and then put in a bag. My sister used to trade me hers for whatever she liked at the annual dump-your-basket-on-the-carpet-and-let's-see-what-we-each-got-and-need-to-trade event, which happened shortly after Easter or Halloween, and I gladly accepted the trade.

I can't say this was a self-help book in any way, as I strongly desired all sorts of different candies upon finishing the book, but it is an honest portrayal of a woman's struggle to find an acceptable place for candy to fit in her life, as well as a look back at her life and how different candies defined different times in  her life, much as a song takes you to a certain time or place when you hear it on the radio. Jolly rancher sticks (you know those long flat ones?) will always remind  me of my friend Anne and I riding to the Corner Market and buying small brown paper bags full of candy and coming home to eat it all at once on my swingset. Taffy sticks (you know those long flat ones in wax paper?) will always remind me of the town fair. Middle school=large chewy SweeTarts, and Fun Dips. Nerds in a box with a popout spout, one flavor on each side of the box. Big League Chew, and volcano rocks popping in your mouth. My dad buying us tubes of Necco Wafers. At Christmas, the storybook box with rolls of Life Savers inside. The candy cane of M&M's.The giant Hershey's Kiss. Then High School. How exciting Jelly Bellies were. Alison and I would go the mall just to select bags with all sorts of different flavors in them.  Boxes of Junior Mints always at the movies. Pixy Stix and Circus Peanuts.

And I could go on and on. What is proved to me, I guess, is that it's not all that crazy this love affair I have with candy. It defines your life, past and present, and helps you remember a lot of good memories all candy coated and sweet. And that's really not a bad thing, now is it?

Musing on the throne

As I sat using the restroom this morning, with the door wide open as is the custom in my home as I expect my visitors to arrive imminently as I have all but given up on bathroom privacy, I listened to the kids in the basement playing. Josie kept yelling IPOD! IPOD! and as I pondered that the word ipod registers in her first 100 words, I realized how different her upbringing already is than  her brother's was. When Jack arrived just 10 years ago, Rob had a beeper for me to contact him when I thought it was time to head to the hospital. A beeper. And now, Josie, at 1,  knows how to swipe through my photos on my iphone and play videos. It's amazing to realize the pace that technology is moving at and it amazes me just as much the people who are able to keep up with that pace.

I have mentioned before that I'm not all that interested in keeping up with all of it. There is some truth in the mere fact that it's easier not to learn it. It can be overwhelming to keep up with all of it. But moreso, it's my desire to not do it. To try to keep the pace slower and the interactions more solid and tangible. Look around at people in lines, or in restaurants. It's gotten to the place where people truly feel uncomfortable with silence and quiet space. If a person is idle, even for a moment, they appear fidgety and embarressed to not be typing away or looking at a screen like everyone else is, or maybe they feel like they are wasting time or being unproductive.

Which led me into my next thought... if quiet time, and mental silence, is going by the wayside, what is happening to society's relationship with God? If we can't sit and just drink a cup of coffee while looking out the window at the trees swaying and the birds flying and be amazed by creation. If we can't stand in line and just be still. If we can't just be. If we can't turn off the itunes and have nothing flowing into our ears. Where will contemplation and meditation go? When will be able to listen to God and just be in His presence?

While technology has brought huge gains to our medical fields and national safety, what are the equally powerful downsides and what does our future look like?

Something to think about as you drink your coffee today and look out the window.