The cardinal

So, back to my story.

My BFF's were here this past weekend, which is no small feat. Driving 7 1/2 to 9 1/2 hours for just a quick weekend with lots of small children because we just like each other that much and it's worth it. Thanks girls.

When we are all together, we morph into lazy mode as much as possible to sit and talk so the kids play lots of Wii, watch lots of TV, and we eat lots of food we are really not hungry for but enjoy eating while we talk. And as part of this laziness mode, I generally get no pictures to capture the weekend. This is all I have:

 Yes, for two blissful weeks we had a working hottub. But now the heat is on the fritz so the fun is over again for a while.

Even handsome city folk go ugly in the country.

Since I knew he wouldn't want to be known as my ugly friend, I dug through a few years of photos on my computers to find a true shot of how handsome he really is (middle). You're welcome Ryan.

And, there's always this when we are together:

Poring through People magazines while commenting on the social absurdity of most of the people in there always makes our hearts warm.

This was probably right before or after we have our hair rubs, which we look forward to each trip. I always know if we get discussing a good enough topic I can count on Andrea for anywhere from 45 minutes to an hour of a head and hair rub and it is luxurious. I wash my hair up real nice and special for the event. Giddyup.

So, in the course of our conversation, I mentioned the cardinal who has resumed his actions against the windows. Coincidentally {or most likely not}, the last time this was happening was right when I was finding out I was pregnant, here. Naturally, the positive test, though encouraging, was far from comforting as we've had lots of other positive pregnancy tests that did not work out as we had hoped. So, it was time of anxious waiting and hoping. But I didn't think much of the bird and the timing then. However, the bird is back, doing the same crazy convolutions all day long in the same windows as before. Interestingly enough, when I was recovering from my bout with dehydration a few weeks ago and sitting in the family room trying to sleep, the bird started up it's routine and I prayed to God, alright, I feel like this bird might be trying to send me a sign or tell me something, but I don't know what it is, so can you please just make it stop so I can get some rest. And immediately, he stopped, but only for a few minutes before returning again and resuming his pecking.

As my due date continues to loom closer, my anxiety has again returned. Wondering if I will be ok throughout the labor and delivery. Wondering if the baby will be alright, after all that we've been through to get to this point. When a friend asked me, "Aren't you SO EXCITED???" I realized that yes, I'm excited, but moreso, anxious about all that is to come soon. I was talking to another friend who'd had several miscarriages before her 3rd child. While in labor with her 3rd, she had reached the point of, "Ok, you can go ahead and push now!" and froze, unable to do anything, as a result of this same anxiousness. The moment has finally arrived, yet you are still scared, waiting for the other shoe to drop, unable to believe that finally things are working out as you'd hoped. So my thought was, it's interesting that this cardinal has come back to me now, and maybe he's trying to tell me something, but I'm not sure what it is.

As a result of this conversation, Andrea decided we should research the cardinal and what his meanings are. I know my sister feels cardinals have always been a sign to her, and I feel birds in general are good message conveyors. So this is what she found:

"Safe passage into personal power",
and,
"also call on the cardinal when you need bolstering for an event you are nervous about"

Hmm.

Seems pretty fitting doesn't it?

So I have chosen to believe that this cardinal is a sign that was sent to me to give me comfort and strength as I approach the moment we've been waiting for these past few years. As I've said before, I think that signs are all around us if we choose to see them and their possible meaning, and I choose yes.

Now it will be interesting to see if now that I've chosen to believe him, he goes away on his own or stays.

I'll keep you posted.