Labor Inducing

It seems my environment is doing all it can to try to put me into labor this week.

On Tuesday, I hit a dog while taking the boys to school. If you have never hit anything, it is absolutely the worst feeling to feel that thud under your car. The thing was, I saw this dog frolicking like a madman in his yard so I should have thought that he might be a threat to run out in front of me, but I didn't slow down like I should have, even though I was probably only going about 30. Anyway, reports are that he is ok, he's just lost a tooth and has a broken toenail or two. I still feel really bad, but it really wasn't my fault.

Today, on the way to school, a high schooler stopped at stop sign pulled out in front of me while I was on the main road with no stop signs. I stopped literally inches from hitting him. I even saw his facial expression as he realized he'd pulled out right in front of me and we were probably going to collide. The old van's brakes came through, though,  because brother, I had them to the floor. Dear readers, this poor uterus can't take much more. I clenched up like a fist and started crying from the closeness of a near accident. I was probably equally upset that I'd almost gotten into an accident (again, not my fault) 9 months pregnant, combined with the fact that I was wearing my pj's with just a sweatshirt and pants pulled on with my pj's, no bra, fuzzy colorful socks, and tennis shoes that are so tight I can only slip them on but not tie them. I really wasn't planning on having to get out of my car this morning yet. Luckily, I didn't have to. But then, Jack keeps asking, "What happened?" (were they not in the car?), I am crying so I'm not answering him, and Luke keeps gently reminding me that I haven't answered Jack's question and that's not polite. When I tell Jack I'm crying because we almost got into an accident, he can only wonder why I'd be crying, because it wasn't my fault. (You should know he is neck deep into some sort of self taught seminar right now on assigning blame whenever possible, as long as it doesn't fall onto yourself, so this 'who's to blame' portion is incredibly relevant to him right now). Which now that I reread this post, maybe comes naturally, because I've claimed twice already that it wasn't my fault. Hmmm.

So, I somewhat collected myself to at least smile and wave (Just smile and wave, boys...) to the teachers standing outside while I dropped the boys off, and came home to promptly medicate myself with 1 or 3 brownies and a cappucinno. What? You've never heard of morning brownies? Well, that's like never doing a desk pop. What? You don't know what doing a desk pop is? Then you need to get into your car, like right now, and drive straight to your local video store to rent The Other Guys. I've seen it something around 873 times and it still makes me laugh the whole time. I realize the relevancy of these movie quotes right now might be escaping you, because it is escaping me, but, whatever.

Because, speaking of labor inducing, it is set to happen one week from now. T minus 7 and counting. Which coincidentally, happens to also be my birthday. I usually don't choose to have an incredible painful day where I'm known to yell profanities for my birthday, but I also have never gotten such a great gift, so it's a good balance.

Sooo, unless the stress of two scary on the way to school incidents push me over the edge sooner, that is our plan! The Christmas gifts are bought, the decorations are up, and I even started to wrap presents yesterday. The crib is waiting, the clothes are clean and folded in the drawers, the diaper drawer is stocked, and the car seat is in. Now all we need is a big fat healthy bouncing baby. Oh, and a name.

Stay tuned!