The evolution of Mr. Sensitive

My seven year old boy has morphed into a 16 year old hormonal girl and I don't know how to change him back. Please help me.

The change has been so drastic, and so extreme, that I am honestly searching for some sort of medical answer to what might have happened seemingly overnight and wondering if I need to see a doctor or a child psychologist. I mean, have you ever experienced something that so throws your out of your normal routine, and is such a cataclysmic change that you feel that someone has abducted your child and replaced them with a cheap imitation?

Mr. S has wonderful endearing qualities (see bed in breakfast). He gets along with everyone at school, so much so that he has been asked to be a part of the "friendship group" at school to be a role model for how to be a good friend. Yet somehow, he has convinced himself that no one likes him and he has no friends. Last Thursday he got off the bus looking like his dog had died, so I worked out of him that a few of the girls had called him a bad word. Once I learned the bad word was 'idiot', he also said they'd called him an alien. I cheerfully explained to him that to a 2nd grade girl, probably all boys are aliens to them, and not to worry about it. However, Mama Bear's hackles certainly were raised, as most moms can relate to, that my son's feelings had been hurt. I shared with him that when I was just a bit older than he is now, a boy in my class called me 'Hairy Houndog' walking home from school one day because I had hair on my arms, and I still remember the moment as if it were yesterday. Words can sting for a long time.

Fast forward, this thinking pattern he has embraced has transferred to his home life, where he has convinced himself that no one in his family loves him or cares for him. Now, essentially when anything doesn't go his way, he stomps off, slams his door, and stays in his room as long as possible. I'm talking anything. Doesn't like the cereal choices. I say no to funky sleeping arrangements on a weeknight. It doesn't matter the issue, it simply has to go against his wishes and he turns into a hot mess. The bulk of our conversation is how he can't wait to move in with his grandparents, where he will certainly be so much happier. He doesn't really want to have to change schools, but it will be worth it. Today, the suggested living arrangements were that just he and Dad live together. Meanwhile, as often happens when one child turns into a two headed monster, the other child changes from a caterpillar to a butterfly, making their differences seem even more stark.

And even though I know now with a few years parenting under my belt, that it's a phase, it is still difficult not to feel like this is how the rest of my life is going to be. I sobbed watching Parenthood a few weeks ago as the mom struggled with her decision to not let her 16 year old girl date someone, which resulted in the 16 year old girl moving in with her grandparents. She questioned and second guessed herself and the decision she made, and I sat back somewhat smugly thinking, whew, well at least I won't have to struggle with those teenage angst girl issues. BUT ALAS! Here I am! I've always banked on the fact that I will pay my dues with loud, rambunctious energetic young boys who will give me little to no grief once they hit their teenage years but wow, it's so not working out that way.

{And if other small boy moms do not admit this fact to your face they are thinking it too, trust me. We talk about it.}

So, here I am beating myself up every day wondering what I'm doing wrong, because obviously I have done something to lead this child to believe that no one likes, loves, or cares for him, right? Despite the million times a day and ways I show him that I love him? Yet I play the same soundtrack in my mind. What have I done wrong? Does he have low self-esteem? Is that inherited or learned? Was I not firm enough in the earlier years so now he thinks he can get away with it? Are they spoiled? What's really going on in his head? And over and over and over.

Aargh. I know this too shall pass, but while you are in the thick of it, hooyah.