The cardinal

So, back to my story.

My BFF's were here this past weekend, which is no small feat. Driving 7 1/2 to 9 1/2 hours for just a quick weekend with lots of small children because we just like each other that much and it's worth it. Thanks girls.

When we are all together, we morph into lazy mode as much as possible to sit and talk so the kids play lots of Wii, watch lots of TV, and we eat lots of food we are really not hungry for but enjoy eating while we talk. And as part of this laziness mode, I generally get no pictures to capture the weekend. This is all I have:

 Yes, for two blissful weeks we had a working hottub. But now the heat is on the fritz so the fun is over again for a while.

Even handsome city folk go ugly in the country.

Since I knew he wouldn't want to be known as my ugly friend, I dug through a few years of photos on my computers to find a true shot of how handsome he really is (middle). You're welcome Ryan.

And, there's always this when we are together:

Poring through People magazines while commenting on the social absurdity of most of the people in there always makes our hearts warm.

This was probably right before or after we have our hair rubs, which we look forward to each trip. I always know if we get discussing a good enough topic I can count on Andrea for anywhere from 45 minutes to an hour of a head and hair rub and it is luxurious. I wash my hair up real nice and special for the event. Giddyup.

So, in the course of our conversation, I mentioned the cardinal who has resumed his actions against the windows. Coincidentally {or most likely not}, the last time this was happening was right when I was finding out I was pregnant, here. Naturally, the positive test, though encouraging, was far from comforting as we've had lots of other positive pregnancy tests that did not work out as we had hoped. So, it was time of anxious waiting and hoping. But I didn't think much of the bird and the timing then. However, the bird is back, doing the same crazy convolutions all day long in the same windows as before. Interestingly enough, when I was recovering from my bout with dehydration a few weeks ago and sitting in the family room trying to sleep, the bird started up it's routine and I prayed to God, alright, I feel like this bird might be trying to send me a sign or tell me something, but I don't know what it is, so can you please just make it stop so I can get some rest. And immediately, he stopped, but only for a few minutes before returning again and resuming his pecking.

As my due date continues to loom closer, my anxiety has again returned. Wondering if I will be ok throughout the labor and delivery. Wondering if the baby will be alright, after all that we've been through to get to this point. When a friend asked me, "Aren't you SO EXCITED???" I realized that yes, I'm excited, but moreso, anxious about all that is to come soon. I was talking to another friend who'd had several miscarriages before her 3rd child. While in labor with her 3rd, she had reached the point of, "Ok, you can go ahead and push now!" and froze, unable to do anything, as a result of this same anxiousness. The moment has finally arrived, yet you are still scared, waiting for the other shoe to drop, unable to believe that finally things are working out as you'd hoped. So my thought was, it's interesting that this cardinal has come back to me now, and maybe he's trying to tell me something, but I'm not sure what it is.

As a result of this conversation, Andrea decided we should research the cardinal and what his meanings are. I know my sister feels cardinals have always been a sign to her, and I feel birds in general are good message conveyors. So this is what she found:

"Safe passage into personal power",
and,
"also call on the cardinal when you need bolstering for an event you are nervous about"

Hmm.

Seems pretty fitting doesn't it?

So I have chosen to believe that this cardinal is a sign that was sent to me to give me comfort and strength as I approach the moment we've been waiting for these past few years. As I've said before, I think that signs are all around us if we choose to see them and their possible meaning, and I choose yes.

Now it will be interesting to see if now that I've chosen to believe him, he goes away on his own or stays.

I'll keep you posted.

The most bizarre night of my life

Sunday night might well have been the most bizarre night of my life.

It began with me waking up for my {3rd?} pee break around 12:45. Which naturally makes sense since I'd been in bed for almost 2 hours already. That happens to all of us, right? When I tried to lay back down, it was just really uncomfortable and then I realized I was having some contractions. Which, might have not been as concerning to me if I hadn't had a doctor's appointment on Friday, where they estimated the baby to be around 9 lb 2 oz, which again is reasonable, since I was just 36 weeks that day, right? YIKES! And that I was already about 2 1/2 cm dilated so between the size and the gargantuan amount of fluid I seem to be carrying, it would probably happen sooner than later. Sooooooo, with all of that in mind... you can see how these contractions were a bit concerning to me. And so, my night began of waking and dozing off wondering if I should start to monitor the timing of those contractions. Because labor with both boys started in the middle of the night, I am expecting the same to happen this time.

Then, around 2:30, the phone rings. I don't know about you, but the phone ringing in the middle of the night is an awful scary sound. So, I hop up (uh huh, I DID hop out of bed believe it or not!) to get the phone and it was a fax tone. While receiving fax phone calls is not unfortunately unusual for us, it is unusual in the middle of the night. So, I doze off again while still wondering if the contractions are going to turn into anything.

Next, Jack gets up to let me know he doesn't feel good, he can't talk, and therefore there is NO way he can go to school because he won't be able to respond if he's called on. Once I talked him off the ledge, I sent him back to bed with a drink of water, a coughdrop and a prayer that he wouldn't be back down so I could get some sleep.

At this point, I was suffering a raging case of sore hips which happens by about 2 a.m., so I decided to move out to the chair to sleep for a while. As an afterthought I brought a notebook and pencil with me, still thinking maybe I should start to record those contractions. However, they came and went, so I dozed off again until about 5:30, when one of our carbon monoxide detectors decided it was time to let us know it had a low battery. The fun of this is that you are never sure where you heard the beep come from, so you have to slink around the house pausing and waiting for the next beep to track down the sound.

Once that was put to death via baseball bat taken care of,  I resumed my peaceful night's sleep until about 6:30 when Rob got up, followed by Jack needing another breathing treatment and reassuring me that he was way too sick to go to school. Oh, and that's also when our cardinal friend starts to throw himself beak first into the windows. You might recall this happening months ago... and now he's back. Which actually turns into an interesting story, which I will share with you in the next post, which leaves me less wanting to shoot him with a BB gun and more fascinated by what he might mean to me.

Stay tuned. I'm going to take a nap now.

Showered

Saturday, I was fortunate enough to be the guest of honor at a baby shower that my two neighbors decided to throw for me. These few poor attempts at pictures are all I captured sadly, but it was a really nice day. I feel so blessed that I have 10 or 15 ladies here whom I consider good enough friends to invite to something like this. I continue to be amazed at the openess and generosity of the women I meet here. As I looked around the room at each person, I realized there is something I admire or have learned from each of them.

I will never underestimate the power of girlfriends.

They decorated bibs and onesies

Not sure what my hands are doing here

The two lovely hosts

How cute was this table centerpiece? Those are socks on there!

And seriously, look at this. And she can whip these out in about 5 hours. Amazing. Here re-enters panicky thoughts about how I need to acquire some skills.

Book Review

This month, I read:

There was a lot of hype about this book, so I felt compelled to check it out. While I did enjoy the book, it was not one that I had trouble putting down. It took me quite a while to get into it, and once I got into the second half the draw to read was stronger but still.... a good book but not one of my top 10. I do, however, enjoy a historical type novel, which I felt this was as it was a story around real events in our history.

Next, I read:

This was a quick, Sunday afternoon several hour read. It is written by a "non-author" so it is direct and easy to read. I really enjoyed this book, and especially enjoyed sharing his experiences with my boys. I am a person who tends to see the good intentions of others so I have no doubt that this is based on an experience that truly happened to this family. I am surprised, however, when googling to see how many strong negative responses there were to the book by people doubting the true intentions of their claims. I would recommend this book.

Next, I read:

This was also a quick one day read, all focused around a couple and their relationship. I found it entertaining and easy to relate to some of the situations that all couples face in a longtime relationship. Intriguing, if somewhat predictable.

And finally, I am finishing this one today:

I am almost always a fan of the books Oprah has chosen for her book club, and this one is no exception. I have to admit, it took me two attempts to get into this book. There are a lot of characters and a fairly involved family tree, so just imprinting who was who in my brain so I could get past all the names and focus on the characters did take some energy, but once I got past that, it has been a really enjoyable read. Again, I love reading books that although they are fictional novels, are based on true events in our history. It's nice to both be entertained and learning all at the same time. It was heartbreaking to me to imagine having to go through so many of the injustices these "characters" endured in their lifetime. This novel is based on the authors true family tree, which began in slavery. Very interesting.

Next up:

The show

Rob and the neighbor cut down a tree this past weekend. He was very clear with the kids on where they needed to stay to keep safe while the tree came down.

I thought it was cute how they got out chairs and all lined up for the event so I brought them some popcorn to complete the experience.

Joy

The first day of Christmas

Yesterday was a very exciting day for the boys.

We awoke to a white outdoors-our first snow! Both boys were up before 7 and noticed the snow before I even had a chance to tell them. Luke ran into the room exclaiming, "It's the FIRST day of Christmas! Woo hoo!"

We were also treated to a 2  hour delay, which gave them a perfect opportunity to get outside and play in that first snow. Both were suited up and sledding by 7:15 a.m. I love two hour delays!

Hello

Halloween gives me a great excuse to get back on the horse and blog. I simply must share the pictures of my boys wearing my first venture into homemade costumes. I have to admit I haven't the smallest grain of creativity when it comes to things like this, so I have never even considered homemade costumes {though didn't most of us have those as kids? I remember coloring a bedsheet with brown crayon to make myself a tree...} However, I think they turned out pretty decent:

Sadly, Tom and Jerry were without their mom this year as I was relegated to the couch recovering from dehydration. Not quite sure how that happened, but all I can say is, if you think throwing up is miserable, add a big ol' watermelon to your belly and then throw up and it only gets worse. Yuck. Finally today, I am feeling more myself. Not much of an appetite yet but seeing a food commercial doesn't make me want to throw up on the spot so that's an improvement. Unless it's for the McRib, because any food with the word "rib" in it sounds disgusting to me all of the time. Too real to use the body part it came from as part of the description, don't you agree?