It's really not funny

Tonight, as we were reading books, Jack told me about something that a boy in his class said to him at recess. They were just playing tag, and this boy says, out of the blue, "Your mom is fat". I asked Jack how he replied, and he claims that he said, "No she's not, and that is such a mean thing to say", and then walked away.

I was so taken back by this, on so many levels. Primarily, what would posess a kid to just come up and say that to you? What is the purpose? I just can't see my kids saying that to another kid. I had to admit to the boys that it is kind of true, to which they loyally defended me, but that despite its truth, I just can't understand why he would just come up and say that to Jack. I thanked Jack for sticking up for me, and tried to resume reading, but for some reason I got a case of the giggles. I really can't say why, but suddenly I just thought it was so funny. I'm sure this sent such mixed messages to the boys. Why was I laughing about it? Because, maybe this is what it's come to. I am officially referred to as fat. And my 9 year old now has to defend me. That when I walked him to his new classroom on the first day less than a month ago to meet his teacher and see his room, that my being fat is the thing that stuck in this boy's head more than anything else. And I guess it also struck me that my first impressions are that the kids in his school now just seem to say meaner things than I was used to in Iowa. I am truly trying to stay open minded and I realize, from experience, that when you move and everything is new, all you do is compare it to what you knew before and everything seems to fall short at first. But when I add this experience to the seeming bullying that Jack started experiencing on his 3rd day of school until I talked to his teacher a week later which put a stop to it, it makes me wonder if it might be true. Jack was called a stalker, and then teased, for not knowing what that meant (for hanging around a kid who he felt was a new friend). He was told he had a big head. He was poked in the finger with a pencil hard enough to make him cry and then feel horrified that he cried in class. And now this.

It takes me back to 1996, when I had just moved to Milwaukee to start my new career with Carson Pirie Scott as an assistant buyer. Rob and I went to Irish Fest along the lakefront, and as we were leaving, a car full of guys screeched out of the busy parking lot. I, being much brasher and more willing to confront than my today self, yelled "Slow down!" as they pulled away. The guy hit the brakes, and reversed, to then harass me: "What's that? What did you say, fattie? Huh? What did you say?" I sort of feel the way I felt then. It wasn't that I was scared that a car full of guys was sitting and bullying me (though his friends tried to encourage him just to leave). It was the fact that he referred to me as fattie. (He referred to Rob as "dork" but that didn't seem to stay with Rob quite as long). I can still see those patchwork plaid shorts he was wearing, which have SO come back into style now, but I digress. It wasn't long after that till I joined Weight Watchers for the first time and lost 33 lbs, allowing me to get married at a lower weight than I was when I graduated high school. I wonder if the fattie comment had anything to do with it?

So I wonder now, will this be the catalyst to push me forward once again? I don't know. But it's definitely food for thought. No pun intended, but dayam, I'm good!