My boy with the sensitive heart. Who notices if I look down. Who makes not only his breakfast but his brother's while I am nursing Josie in the morning. And then sometimes cleans it all up just to be nice. Who wakes up whenever Josie does in the night fretting that she is upset. Who get so excited for his birthday he counts down for WEEKS and asks all of his invited guest if they prefer pepperoni or cheese pizza. Cupcakes or cake? The boy with the sensitive heart who gets hurt so easily.
He is convinced no one on his baseball team likes him. Why do you think that? I just can tell he says. Because I accidentally stepped on someone's drink tonight and made it leak out and they all said, "Jack!" And that's all it takes for him. Because the downside of a sensitive heart is that you personally feel every comment that comes your way as a knife digging in to your heart.
So I laid with him tonight trying to convince him to know himself and who he is on the inside. Believe who he is and not what anyone else tells him of who he is. To be comfortable in his own skin and not try too hard to be cool or likeable.
Which is so easy to say from someone who at 39 is still wondering if that person likes me. And if not, why not. So easy to give the advice and yet not follow it still myself.
So my heart aches for him and my worries lie heavy on my heart because I don't know how to help him. That same sensitive heart that I love works against him so often and it makes me so sad to see him feel so down on himself.
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Aww, that makes me sad too! Tell Jack we love him, great pics! H
ReplyDeleteRachel - such a sweet post and yes, heartwrenching to see your child sad. Don't we all struggle with the same thing? I know I wish my kids were always happy, always felt loved and excepted by everybody, and never hurt in any way. But God uses all those things to shape us into the people He wants us to be. It can be so hard to watch, and even harder to live, but He is faithful and trustworthy and loves your Jack even more than you do. God will use his very sensitive heart to do great things for Him. And you are the best mom to encourage him along the way. I can always go back to my favorite mom quote "The decision to have a child is momentous. It means having your heart walk around outside your body" (or soemthing like that) sooo true!
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